I usually try to think positive. I was taught you should always think the best of everything and everyone. Sometimes I wish I was taught the truth. There is no love, there is no happily ever after. Those ideas and the thought that love could conquer all no longer exist. That was a fairy tale that I bought into. I want to believe that it could happen. I want to be honest with someone, open up everything that I am. Be lost in someone for everything they are and every dream they have. The sad reality is that no one I have ever met really wants the work that goes into that reality. I probably shouldn’t whine and complain after all I am just a transsexual… no one signed up for this kind of a marriage. I just wanted to believe that we could conquer all. I wanted to believe in happily ever after. Even when our relationship was going down in flames, I wanted to hold onto that last spark. I feel that if it dies something inside me will die with it. Its time though, time to let go and let that piece of me die.