This is my first post mostly to say hello to everyone. This is more or less a background on me. I am 33 and have never really fit in. I would love to say I was always skinny, short, and kind of feminine looking but thats just not the truth. The fact is I grew to a 6’1″ and wide shouldered man that lost hair and then gained weight. I am very glad though that my body has shrunk to 5’10″ and my weight, lets just say daily tight lacing does amazing things to the body. I know for sure that up till 5 years old I probably would have passed as either sex and knew at 9 what I wanted to be. I grew up in a very conservative family and didn’t even know of trans gendered people till around 20ish. I know I was very naive, I always thought you had to have surgery or be born with both to be both, very naive I know. I never thought of myself as transsexual, but was always interested in people that transitioned. I found that the more I would find them the more I wanted to how they did it instead of being turned on. I really wanted to learn more and be as attractive as possible. This as it would turn out would be a challenge, but before that story there is more background.

In my college days and even before that I was often thought of a gay, yet I never thought that. I finally got tired of hearing the words in and thought maybe I am so I had a boyfriend for a while. I hated it and was almost suicidal at the time, yet I did like being anything I wanted around him. I never worried about what I said or how I felt it just all came out. He just didn’t care and we would talk for hours about nothing at all. The man loved me so much, sometimes I still think of him. I put him through hell and he still wanted to be with me so bad. We kept in touch for years and years then one day he said well this is your last chance. I didn’t believe it, for some odd reason I thought he would always come back. I still wonder to this day what happened to him, but I know my wife loves me and this is a life I can live.

Now that I am married I figured out that I am transgendered.  I realize the blog states a day in the life of a transsexual, but in reality I am pre op.  I don’t really like the term transgendered as it is too wide of an umbrella.  I also don’t see why someone would call them self transsexual after surgery either because at that point your just a woman.   I am married with kids and I know the truth of how to transform, what doctors to go to for facial feminization surgery, what hormones to take and I have some hard choices ahead. Its not that I don’t love my wife and kids its more that I know what I am and how to be that. This is really my journey of self discovery and some pictures along the way of me dressed the way I should be dressed or at least the way I think I should be dressed. I hope you enjoy this journey as I know some days will be very hard for me, and my family and others will be joyous occasions. I might wake up one day and figure out this was just all a cross dressing fetish or I might wake up a woman someday.

Love ~Sandy