I usually try to think positive. I was taught you should always think the best of everything and everyone. Sometimes I wish I was taught the truth. There is no love, there is no happily ever after. Those ideas and the thought that love could conquer all no longer exist. That was a fairy tale that I bought into. I want to believe that it could happen. I want to be honest with someone, open up everything that I am. Be lost in someone for everything they are and every dream they have. The sad reality is that no one I have ever met really wants the work that goes into that reality. I probably shouldn’t whine and complain after all I am just a transsexual… no one signed up for this kind of a marriage. I just wanted to believe that we could conquer all. I wanted to believe in happily ever after. Even when our relationship was going down in flames, I wanted to hold onto that last spark. I feel that if it dies something inside me will die with it. Its time though, time to let go and let that piece of me die.
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Stats
Electrolysis sessions: 45 hours (lost count)
Finasteride: 1mg
Promogynova: 6mg
Spriolactane: 50mg
May 2, 2008
EV 10mg every Saturday.
Dropped Spiro
Finasteride: 1mg
Aug 1, 2008
EV 10 mg every 10 days
Finasteride: 1mg
Still no Sprio or AA
Recent test Estradiol 704 pg/ml (too high)
T 36 pg/ml
Tested thyroid no issues
Tested again on 8th day after shot
Estradiol 269 pg/ml (still high)
June 6, 2008
Hair transplant
May 2, 2008
EV 10mg every Saturday.
Dropped Spiro
Finasteride: 1mg
Aug 1, 2008
EV 10 mg every 10 days
Finasteride: 1mg
Still no Sprio or AA
Recent test Estradiol 704 pg/ml (too high)
T 36 pg/ml
Tested thyroid no issues
Tested again on 8th day after shot
Estradiol 269 pg/ml (still high)
June 6, 2008
Hair transplant
2 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 12, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Denisesined
Hi
My name is Denise Holliday and I am a post-op trans woman. I admit that our lives our at best uncertain for probably over 60% of us. but life for some people who have all the blessings of normalcy are less than we have.
I was unfortunate in my youth and received no help and never admitted I was trans till 3 months after my wedding to the woman I have lived with for almost 40 years.
She agreed that if I hung on till the kids were born, I could transition. She never promised to stay with me but that is what she has done. I have two daughters who are 21 and 31 years old and my son was almost 37 when killed in a motorcycle accident.
I transitioned at age 50 and had to retire early due to a minor brain block that stops me remembering names. That was a year ago.
I am sixty four this year and realize that despite my identifying as female at age 3 or 4, I lived as a male most of my life.
Not knowing your age it is hard to make any kind of assessment, but I wish you the best in all you attempt.
May you be blessed with patience and wisdom beyond your present situation.
Take care
Denise Holliday
May 13, 2010 at 4:10 am
digitaltrans2
I am actually quite a bit younger than you. I am in my 30′s and started in my early 30′s. I didn’t think I could wait till I was older. Its just something that was always there and people could always sense it. They would tell me they thought I was gay… some didn’t know or couldn’t guess but they didn’t really know me.
As far as everything going on. I feel almost ashamed for how much anger I have towards someone. I know I will make it through but hope I don’t become a worse person. Its my hope to grow stronger and keep some of my innocents out of this. I have some hope in that I am young, just don’t know that I believe in love anymore.