I went to the doctors again today to check into getting hair transplanted. I have done things like this in the past with other doctors. It just always seems so hard to say what I want though. The doctor there was trying to talk me into getting a strong male hair line. He was so bent on the idea that I would hate to have a female hair line that he debated this for close to 20 min. He kept saying that he has done female hair lines for transvestites, but that I would wake up and hate it. I don’t understand this, why would any guy hate the fact that he looks pretty? I guess I just don’t see why it’s so bad, but then why would I. I can’t even imagine waking up and being happy to have a big old wood and then look at my bawled head, shave it or just not care. How do men, well be men? How do they look at there face and not care if a wrinkle shows up? How do they let there stomachs get so big, wear those baggy jeans and think they look cool? I don’t even get how a man can look at his bushy eye brows or unibrow and think nothing of it. I understand the metro sexual male to a point more so but still…

I just wanted to scream at this guy I don’t want to look like a guy and why do you keep saying transvestite. Please at least use the term transgendered and I want a feminine hair line. If someone thinks I am woman so be it and I will be happy. I would wake up every day with my nice smooth skin and grow my hair so long it would touch the middle of my back. Every time I walk my hair would sway or bounce on my back that would make me so happy. To me that would just feel so sexy, sexy. I don’t want another hair cut unless it’s to cut off split ends. I would however love to have the facial hair gone. I wish there was a way to get rid of that and put it on the top quick. I guess in a way this is better though because I can have him define the line I want. I am going to do it. I am going back and telling this doctor guess what; I want a female hair line and use the term transgendered next time. I will do even better than that. I am going to show up in my girl sweats and a tight shirt so my girls show and say I want a female hair line. I just need to get the balls to do that… problem is I never did have the balls or want them.

After all that talking though and seeing the price I am very excited. Everything is happening and happening quickly. I will wake up everyday and love my hair line. I will be so happy for once I will look in a mirror and like what I see looking back. It’s odd because my wife doesn’t get it she thinks I am so cute already. She doesn’t understand why I would change a thing then she says you need hair, a smaller nose would be nice… so my feeling as well and could I get a smaller chin please? Don’t get me wrong either because I don’t hate myself. I actually really think I am starting to look amazing. That’s just it though I am starting to look better.

I used to lift weights a lot and had an amazing guy body at one time. It just didn’t seem like it fit me and I didn’t understand why. I used to think it was funny I had this baby face and this strong toned body. It was like seeing a buff toned feminine guy, two things that no matter how you try to put together just don’t fit. I never understood why my body didn’t match me and now I know exactly why. It’s even more ironic because I remember after college this guy showing me a picture of this other guy and said wouldn’t you love a body like that. My first response was heck no. I should have known, but denial is an odd thing. Again it goes back to the guy looking at a feminine hair line on him. To me dropping all my weight, having curves start to show up and my veins disappear is a good thing. I loved it when I removed my hair on my chest and now I look like a woman under it all. I don’t wake up with those desires or ever get them. These are things that would depress a normal guy to no end I guess, but to me make me happy. The only time it gets kind of odd is when I throw on a guy’s small shirt and two things show up that normally wouldn’t be on a guy. It’s a hard choice to choose a shirt as well, but when I am home I don’t care. I wear even tighter clothing at home because I am rather fond of them. It’s going to get to the point where I will never want to take the right clothing off. What can I say it just looks better on me?